Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Ask Tom # 5031

Straight to the point - (and we don't want to seem shallow and superficial), but what the heck is happening with the barnet? Got it cut yet?

shazzadean



Good grief, you make 5 albums, struggle to take your music to the masses, live the dedicated life of the true artist, and all they want to know about is your hair. This is but one of the many hair related questions submitted over the years.

But the question has been asked, and rather than shirk the challenge of an in depth answer, I have instead decided to take you on a journey through the styles - if such they can be called - that I have sported through the years.

#1 Not many options available to me at this point, although what I lacked in tonsorial flare I easily made up for with a frankly awesome choice of shorts. Notice if you will the slightly sour face, the sucking on a lemon expression, due mainly to the fact I'm sucking on a lemon. Either that or there has been a catastrophic failure of early '70s nappy technology.



#2 Skipping forward a few years, I am clearly already working on the slightly longer look for the more outré gentleman, although still struggling with the exact angle at which to cut the fringe for maximum dork factor. I can only imagine my mother was wielding the scissors. See how I was working the cherubic look, set off magnificently by my maroon blouse. Quite the heartbreaker.



#3 A minor lapse in sartorial judgement led to a period of self-disgust, as evinced by the McRae tartan tie and red tank top. There was only one way to truly carry off this look, and that was by grabbing the nearest bowl and trimming round it. With that hair and those teeth, no one even remembers the clothes.



#4 The teenage years can be awkward for anyone, but I have made a bold statement with spiky blond hair contrasting splendidly with my black digital watch. The languid posture clearly showing a maturing confidence, combined with an almost fatal inability to stand up in those jeans.



#5 Notice in this next picture of one of my earlier bands, how I am already beginning to commit to the idea of "hair as vital comedy tool". I like to think I was breaking new ground in this area, although if this photo is anything to go by, one or two of the others may have been ahead of me. The all-white look was also years ahead of its time, as was the use of cane furniture as a serious prop. Today's bands could learn a thing or two from this picture. Mainly what not to do at any cost.

Yes, isn't the guy top left rather good looking. Of course, that's why he had to go. There will be more of him on my upcoming autoblography, a section on the new, lovingly homemade site we are close to getting on line.




#6 It was nothing short of a tragedy then, having invested much time and effort into researching the most ridiculous hair cuts over the years, when my first label began to insist on new strategies for the barnet. They wanted it longer, shorter, blonder, darker... like all record labels they didn't know what they wanted, they just knew it wasn't what they had. So in typical rebellious fashion, I hacked it all off and this was the result. Like Samson before me, losing my hair meant losing my strength, and all the effort of looking cool has clearly exhausted me and I have fallen asleep. Either that or someone has made me listen to Lily Allen and completely sapped my will to live.





#7 And now, back to the present day, as the hair turns a majestic shade of grey, if only in the sparse beard, and we see the return of the slightly confused, indeterminate hair length, that hints at my dogged resistance to fashion, and my preference for the timeless look of the devil-may-care, too lazy to go to the hairdresser, older gent still carving out a career in the youth obsessed world of music. It is, I'm sure you agree, a look that I have at least made my own. Although apparently, as always, I am starting to subtly influence the next generation. Poor fools.

video

30 comments:

  1. How cute is that second picture?! Very angelic... Not to say that you're not cute now, of course (if those double negatives make sense) ;) Personally I think your hair suits you as it is...

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  2. You just made my day. And while reading, thinking how it couldn't get any better, Sean Bean shows up. I'm out of words. You're hilarious, man!

    Thanks for sharing the barnet through the years. And do keep it! It's part of what makes Tom McRae, Tom McRae ;)

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  3. This is priceless, you're a gem. I used to think you styled yourself on David Emanuel......

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  4. Right then that's me booking myself into the hairdressers tomorrow. Just which Tom number should i get? I think a Boyband Number 5 would raise me up in the lofty world of the east Sussex fashion stakes. Good work with the Bean too. You should get him to tour with you. Maybe he could play the finger cymbals or something like that. Bravo.

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  5. lol !
    Excellent !
    Great way to have a nice start for the day :)
    Thanks for that post, Tom !

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  6. Aw, what a cutie in those first photos! I can't help noticing the smile waning over the following years though, until eventually we're left with the morose musician we all know and love...

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  7. Really liking the 'Like Blood' period!

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  8. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, great pictures

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  9. You're fearless, certainly. Blimey - shame you escaped a perm in the 80s (I didn't!).

    You forgot to add photos of Richard Farleigh to the slideshow though.

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  10. Ohh you have made me giggle!!! Loving the look, loving the music...dont change a thing!!

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  11. Don't cut it again. Not ever. You're Samson. And YOU cut HER hair.

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  12. Personally I always find a bit of lemon curd mixed into the batter prior to it being oven bound works for me

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  13. Man, it's so long since i actually had any hair that i'm waaaaaay too envious to make a witty comment...

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  14. Haha! Great photos Tom! Them toddler incontinence knickers were all the rage back then eh! Though the puffiness of the shorts were to hold thick, bulky nappies that caused no amount of bandy legs in toddlers due to the weight.......lol
    There must have been a unisex haircut back then (2nd photo) as I had the same short fringe/bowl cut look;-)
    An eyecatcher from toddlerhood to adulthood for sure.
    Can't wait for the new album Tom, counting down the days:-)

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  15. Brilliant! We had a competition at work recently matching baby/toddler pics up to members of staff...great fun and lots of surprises!
    I love the fact that you acknowledge your resemblance to Sean...I tried to convert a friend to your music on the strength of that as she's a huge fan of Sean Bean. Don't know if I've succeeded or not yet (but at least she thinks you're cute!)
    Chrissie x

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  16. Hairstyle No. 6 is awesome Tom, gosh it makes you look seriously cute. If you weren't so straight and I wasn't so in a relationship we could make beautiful music together............
    I've never looked at you as eye-candy before but short hair turns you into some gay icon, you name the date and time I'll bring the scissors!

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  17. Fabulous! Though i must say the prosthetic arm attached to the head in #7 really completes the latest look!

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  18. Don't ever cut your hair again!! The 'just like blood periode' made you look aweful. It did not fit you at all.

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  19. Erm...this will sound rude but hey - you don't know me!

    #3 Kinda looks like a character in an Aphex Twin video. You have the face of a man on a boys body.

    That said I think you're bloody talented so I'll let you off.

    See you at King Tuts.

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  20. I suppose it doesn't need to be said, but you, my friend, are truly a brilliant linguist. With unparalleled wit. Thank you for sharing this insight. I am floored...in such a delightful way.

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  21. You have a special way with words Mr Tom. Your post makes me smile as always. Don't loose the hair or the beard. Me likes what she sees...:)

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  22. Love the hair but the beard makes you look older (not in a positive way) Get rid of it!!

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  23. What a load of tosh - I love your hair!

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  24. i actually like #6. you should fight with your labels more.

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  25. Just get a blind, drunk homeless man to cut it. If it's shite then at least you've got an excuse, and he's got some cash for the privilage. Everyone is happy.

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  26. The top left dark haired guy is indeed quite good looking...but you have cat eyes(especially obvious on the second picture) which is a plus on my book.

    I really love "Human Remains", I hope you'll sing it in Paris in October. I've been waiting for so long.

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  27. Bit late, thanks for the pic of Sean Bean, it really made my day :-)
    X

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  28. Overly late post and delurking for the sake of just letting you know how EPIC this post was.

    True story sir, true story.

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  29. I just saw some pictures of you from a couple of days ago.
    You don't look so good Mister.

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  30. Get rid of the beard..you looked horrible at Living Room and the weddingpictures while you can have such a beautiful face with great hair.. Fine if you're happy with it but don't blame the world if your new album doesn't do anything, it isn't only about the songs/voice you know.. And is it true that you and Amie got married too? About damn time the two of you would!

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