Conversations with my fridge #24

Today, my fridge decided it would (in binary code) explain to me just how depressed it feels when the radio (which is on top of the fridge) won't talk to it. I tried explaining to the fridge that the radio is just a piece of electronic equipment, and doesn't have the capacity for independent thought, and certainly doesn't have a soul. We laughed about this for while (I laughed, the fridge clicked)and we cheered ourselves up by taking the piss out of the toaster, who then sulked and wouldn't talk to either of us for hours. Sometimes, I think I should get out more. But the fridge would miss me too much.

Break-ins and Time Outs

After a burglary and the dull days of organisation afterwards, my spirits are lifted by the arrival of a book in which some of my writing was included. The Book is called "Hang The DJ"(faber&faber) and it's basically a lists book, with people saying why they like certain songs, wrapped up in some tenuous idea for a list. But it'll please my father to see me doing some proper writing, instead of this music nonsense. The last few days have been an enforced time out while I pick up the pieces after the break-in, but it makes you feel for people in far worse situations than mine. I can't complain about one break-in in 21 years of living in London. I mean, I can... but I'm not going to. Plus it gives me a chance to sit back and listen to my latest songs, as I'm not in the mood to write. And I make a great discovery. Everything I've written is shit, and it's time to start over. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I am now proposing we all burgle Chris Martin's house and see if his next album is better than the last.

McRaeped Crusader

Someone invited me to the Batman movie. I throw on a jacket and walk out of the house without changing the clothes I’ve been wearing all week and without combing my hair, only to find that I’m at the premiere. Needless to say no one takes my photograph or asks for an autograph. Notice Christian Bale in a bad mood, could this be something to do with the fact he was arrested earlier in the day for alleged assault? Am torn between watching the film, (and were those vertiginous scenes necessary?) and watching Sir Ian McKellen with whom I can only assume is his nephew or his boyfriend. I am sitting next to Gandalf. Awesome.