Saturday, 29 November 2008

Got Milk?

The list of things I have been brought in diners, having originally asked for a glass of water, was extended dramatically this week, by the arrival at my table of a telephone book. Seriously. To date, I have been brought a bottle of milk,a loaf of bread and now this. Awesome. A-W-E-S-O-M-E! I shall continue to help spread English as the main language here, but I fear it may be a lost cause. For the first few years I thought "Huh?" was a formal greeting, not just the slack-jawed response of the morons in Rite Aid. The name just says it all. Ah well, London isn't any better. Maybe it's me, maybe I mumble, maybe I'm old and long for an era of politeness that is either long-gone or exists only in the imagination. Explain then, why the building I live in is populated by the loveliest, most polite, endearing and interesting old people I have ever had the privilege to meet. Perhaps because I'm edging closer to being one of them. They break my heart every time we share an elevator conversation. We talk about the weather, grandchildren of course, and the morons in Rite Aid. So it's not just me.

Tom's Film Round Up

Place your bets now for Sean Penn to win best actor and Josh Brolin for best-supporting, for "Milk", the biopic of gay San Francisco activist, Harvey Milk.I cried. I cry at everything. As for "Synecdoche, New York", I had to watch the dumb "Role Models" immediately after, just to recover. And I can't actually remember the new James Bond, although I'm sure I saw it, and despite being a Jack White fan, it has to be the worst theme tune ever. Apart from Madonna. Obviously. "Madagascar 2" has the best talking hippo scene... now if "Synecdoche" could just have crowbarred some singing animals into the movie, it might have lifted the mood slightly. Sometimes a movie can be so bereft of hope, so repetitive, so remorselessly dark, so bleak in it's eventual outcome, in short, so much like my actual life - that I may as well have stayed home and stared in the mirror for three hours. I've got that pencilled in for tomorrow. It's a Sunday after all. I hate Sundays.


  1. Jack White, A-W-E-S-O-M-E! it took a good 5/6 plays in a row, but totally love that tune, the film is shit though!

  2. Given how you describe them, I like Rite Aid's mission statement: "with us, it's personal" i.e. "it's not that we don't care about anyone, we actually don't care about you in particular".

  3. I hate Sundays too. Most depressing day of the week,although I always get drunk to forget about everything.

  4. Sundays are good for cinema, especialy when it's grey and cold. You should watch Hunger, I saw it today and it left me bruised and filled with wonder at once. Who could have guessed that such ugliness could be filmed so beautifully?

    Now I'm going to listen to "Human Remains"...

  5. Talking about being misunderstood when asking for something, theres was the article about the Iphone not being able to understand the Scots accent and thought Frankie Boyle's take on it was pretty funny.

    "A NEW voice-activated search engine on Apple's iPhone doesn't understand Scottish accents.

    Tests found that a request for "iPhone" in a Scots accent led the browser to search for "sex". It might not understand Scottish accents, but at least it's good at reading between the lines.

    I can see it becoming a best seller in Scotland. It also gives you a good excuse if your girlfriend catches you looking at a porn site on your phone.

    "How did that get there? I asked it to find me rock crunchers."

  6. As for "Synecdoche, New York", I had to watch the dumb "Role Models" immediately after, just to recover.

    Hah. At least you don't live there. Which I do... D:

  7. You are a remarkably intelligent human being. I appreciate your cynicism and wit. Thoughts like yours give me an uplifting, yet desperate hope for humanity.


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